Chapter eighty

Chapter eighty.

He hugged me tight and I sobbed in his chest. We were both crying as soon as I broke off the news.

Until now I can’t believe that she died. ‘Though we should be expecting that from a sick person. Easy said than done.

I can’t believe that a week ago, we’re just together. Making the most of everything and catching up.. until this day.

Arnold and I went to her wake. I was quite surprised to see Timmy so much sadder than anyone else. Him being the half brother of Enyah. Just him.

I heard that their father was in Italy and can’t go back because he was tied to so much work. So here’s Timmy doing the wake by himself.

Enyah’s friends, classmates, schoolmates, colleagues and relatives are here. Benchi, Bryyan, Jowl, and Polo are also here. They are helping Timmy serve the visitors of Enyah’s wake.

I couldn’t handle it. I feel so guilty, and so I asked Arnold if we could leave.

He told Timmy that we are going. But Timmy followed us in the car.

chapter seventy nine

Chapter seventy nine.

Just a week ago, I reconciled with Enyah. I confirmed Timmy’s existence in town but I didn’t probe anymore. I am happy to whatever is happening now and I won’t ruin something that has already been dead and gone.

The fact that Arnold has been consistent ever since he told me his plans, and that Enyah and I are okay again.. what more could I ask for.

I suddenly stopped writing when I heard the phone rang. I picked it up and dropped the receiver.

Arnold went into the living room as soon as he heard the phone ringing. He went in and asked me what happened when he saw the receiver on the floor.

“Enyah is dead.”

chapter seventy eight

Chapter seventy eight.

News travel so fast. So fast that it seems not real. Impossible for the word to travel like thick air.

I heard rumors about Enyah. I know it’s not real. But even if I know the truth, I still checked up on her.

Yes. When I went into her house, I decided that we should be friends again. Time has engraved so much bitterness to us. No, not bitterness.. but a silent line that keeps us from talking.

I already forgave her. I know that whatever has happened to Timmy and I must not have any influence to our friendship.

“I heard the news…” I hurried to her, hugged her and told her how I felt about the news.

“I am feeling it. I’m about to die. I am feeling excruciating pain, but my soul is floating. I missed you, I hope in my last days we’ll still ….” She was about to say the words that rumors spread for her and I don’t want to hear it so I cut her off.

“No. you won’t die. I will be here for you. I know it might sound as abrupt. But I already gave the misunderstanding a rest. Anyhow, we should be okay. Nothing should keep us from being friends. You know I love you and I missed you.” I told her from the deepest corner of my heart.

I can see the effect of drugs in her body. She is suffering, but I don’t want to believe that she has remaining days to live. I can’t accept that. But it’s hard to believe something that is not impossible to happen.

Chapter seventy SeVEN

Chapter seventy seven.

What? Arnold wants me to be his girl again? What the heck is he talking about? It has been years. We’re ok as friends and now… Everything will change if I let that happen. Everything will change if it didn’t work out.

But he’s right. I have been working my life ever since Timmy walked in and out of my life. He’s right because when Timmy and I became an item, I already forgot his existence. He gave me time even without me asking him to.

It’s quite ironic, how this thing happened in a very unexpected overturn of events.

We are in the same roof, living our own lives then one day he’ll came back with this proposal.

I liked him. I almost fell in love with him in the first time that we’ve been sharing this house. Yes. I did, and you know it because I’ve written it here for almost 60 chapters ago. And now look.

It has been years. And I fear that the feeling already faded. Right now I don’t wanna be reminded about what Timmy and I used to share. But this is Arnold. He can turn me into a good friend and a lovable sister. But a girlfriend?

“I don’t know Arnold. It has been years, and I don’t know if the feelings I used to have with you is still with me.” I answered.

Plus the fact that I actually think that Timmy is here in town! I don’t know if I already had moved on. But it’s hard.

Chapter seventy SIX

Chapter seventy six.

I woke up early this morning just like always. Today is a holiday and it’s one of the days that the company gives me a day for myself. I started the day with Arnold at the dining table fixing our breakfast. He came back after a month long work in Davao.

“How was your sleep? I missed you so much that I didn’t bother to wake you. So I just made you some breakfast.” Arnold said.

I was not shocked to see him, because for 2 years we have been doing this as a routine and I already got the hang of it. But he was here, right before my eyes after a month of not seeing him.

“I missed you too. Thank you for not waking me up last night. Gahd, I’ve been working so much that I already forgot my own life. How are you? How’s Davao?” I asked.

He came up in the steps where I am standing and hugged me tight. I missed him so much that I didn’t notice him kissing me. When I was about to let him go, he didn’t stop. So I shook him.

“Hey, you can let go of me now. I… I… I can’t breathe Arnold.” I said.

“Oh. I’m so sorry, Hana. I really missed you.” He said.

“Yeah, you missed me. I can see that. Why did you kissed me?” I asked.

“Because I need you. I respected your time when you need it for yourself and when you fell for Timmy. This time, I want you to spend time with me. I’m asking you to not only live with me, but also be in a relationship with me. I realized that it’s time for me and you. I will take care of you. If you’d only let me.”

Chapter seventy Five.

Chapter seventy five.

After all these time, I finally saw Timmy. No. He never came back for me, nor did he try to explain himself. I was of course, caught by my own shadows that afternoon. He was walking outside the restaurant that me and my mom were dining in. I am not so sure about him not seeing me, but I know it’s him. Although I am not 100% sure about what I saw, or should I say who I saw.

I hesitated when I thought about asking his sister, Enyah. It has been quite a while since the phone call and since then we never had the chance to talk anymore. I wanted to confirm if Timmy is in town. But I don’t want to ask my brother about him even if they are the closest friends in the world.

I know it’s him. I’ve seen him twice that day. We bumped into each other but neither of us acknowledged each other. I don’t know what has gotten into me that I didn’t even bother to swallow my pride and approach him. Probably it’s because I feel guilty about what I did to him. That I pushed him into something, and when he did, this became the result.

Move.

I know what you are thinking. What gives me the right to play the cards right when I myself can’t even make my life as purposeful as it seems?

What am I doing with my own life after engulfing myself with work? With running away from marriage proposals and turning down prospect dates and prospect heroes?

Brenth and Bryyan, my parents and Bryyan’s dad, Hero, Caroline and Enyah. They were always there but I never acted upon anything. I was constantly running away with what they want me to do. I am constantly battling with my own desires, that every plan that I used to have had already faltered.

Right now, all I can say is that.. my own life is a mess.

I don’t know what to do and I don’t know where to begin. All I have is my career. And yes, I am still in the ropes struggling to forget Timmy.

I’ve been writing about my work for the past chapters probably as a scapegoat to the other issues in my personal life. Other than work, I have been contemplating about my parents’ idea of marriage.

I don’t blame them for thinking that I am.. once again, dealing with my career more than giving time for myself. Even when I was studying, I am prioritizing so much for my future that I become restless and super preoccupied.

They want me to engage to someone and not into something. They have been telling me to give one person a chance to be friends with me and start a new friendship. So soon, we can have a relationship et cetera.

But that’s not what I want. Well, not yet. I know, I am still not stable and I don’t want to meet someone new and start all over again. Meeting someone and being with someone practically needs time, and I don’t have time for that now.

Besides, after what I’ve been through with Timmy, I realized that I cannot just go and be in a relationship again. Looking back, it took me years and months before we became an item and I bet it’s gonna be longer for it to happen again.