I am not included in the cigarette pack

What is so wrong with me? He knows. I know. We know. That living in the house with him is not easy without speaking to him. He just don’t know the new issue now. All he knows is that I still can’t get over the fight we had two months ago.

If he only knew that what’s making my nose burn and keeps it smoking is that I really envy the girl that I saw in his Friendster account, I bet he will just laugh about this crazy thing and who knows what he’ll do. She is not THAT pretty. In my own prejudice I am 40% more beautiful than her, but she won Arnold’s heart. And that’s the end of the story.

I guess this is the best time to talk to my brother again. But I guess not. Because when we began chatting about my mess, he began laughing out loud-laugh my ass out-roll over effin loud. So noooottt the type I wanna hear.

My brother was like..

“Let her be, she was just another stick in the pack.” You wish.

“Why are you turning oh-so-bitter? You shouldn’t be sister, because if he is really serious about that girl, then the talk time should be ticking now.” Yeah, you have a point. But the status remains: It’s complicated. And the girl keeps on calling her such lousy endearments beh. What?? I can’t even call my dog in that manner. Eew!

“Hey, that’s why she is not you, and you don’t have him.” True. But what do you want me to do? Downgrade myself and be like whatever cigarette butts are in his ashtray? Be one of them when I know I would never be?!?

“Easy cowgirl. If this is making you crazy, then probably you should wave your white flag and call it quits.” What do you mean call it quits? For one, we can be friends. I can tell him about that. I know, I am ready. What I am not ready yet is the call-it-quits thing. I don’t like the sound of it.

“If this is an infatuation, it will go away. Cmon, date.” DATE?!? Since when are you in the position to tell me I am not dating?

“Since the time you’ve been bugging me about how irritated, annoyed, jealous, envious, etc. you are when it comes to Arnold.” Oh brother, you better be kidding. I am not really calling you to seek advice. I was just calling you as your sister. I.. I.. I was just trying to confide in you.

“Oh cmon, Hana. We both know that you’re falling for him. You’re scared to fall alone, that’s why you are always rough on him.” No. partly true but the latter part is quite an overstatement. OKAY. I surrender! Hands and feet up for you brother, because.. I will date.