The kiss

But it’s a risk not worth taking. I suddenly woke up to a dream before I sleep. I forgot that he also have a life to live by. And unfortunately, I am not part of that life. Not now, not tomorrow, not ever. I’m just the last resort. I’m just the last option. The scapegoat. HIS scapegoat. And it hurts. How things suddenly collapse before it was built.

One of the happiest moment I ever had with him was a couple of weeks ago. When his mom visited us again. US because it wasn’t only Arnold whom she intend to share her stories with. And with every visit she make, it was really as surprising as her surprise visit.

A couple of weeks ago, as she spent lunch with Arnold and I, something came up that I really wasn’t expecting. Arnold like her mother was so excited to share stories together. His mom was eager to talk to me. Only to find out that Arnold told her ALMOST everything he knows about me.

His mom, who was also a writer told me her stories about being the editorial assistant of Preppy Magazine. She was encouraging me to follow her steps, like her daughters. I appreciate the thought, but I am happy working with the company that I have now.

While we are talking about our experiences in the field, Arnold suddenly sat beside me and placed his right arm in my waist. THAT didn’t escape his mom’s eyes. I know, this is a part of the favor and I’m following his lead. But I am really uncomfortable with it so I didn’t react. I acted as if it was nothing. His mom was looking at him, and Arnold is staring at me. His eyes are telling me to “do something”. I answered his stares with “I am working on it” as I stared him back.

As if on cue, we smiled to his mom in unison. I grab his hand – the one resting on my waist- and held it as if we are really into something. Suddenly he began speaking. As he speak my nervousness was starting to build up and at that moment, I thought my tongue was tied. True enough, he began to do weird stuffs. Say weird stuffs. And he clearly told his mom that he is starting to like me.

Whoa! This is something. And I feel like quitting. Because his mom liking me doesn’t give him the credit to use it for me. Rar! He is really a liar! He is starting to use me. And now he is telling his mom that he likes me or starting to like me. I know this is a part of the act. But I can’t hold it anymore.

So I stood up and told his mom that we are far from liking each other. He pierced me with his stares. And he was trying to make his mom believe him. But I am close to breaking down, until the weird thing happened. He took his last card and his last chance. He proposed to me in front of his mom. And as he pulled his act altogether, his sisters and his dad and so with everybody else came in and witnessed the fake proposal.

I wasn’t able to say the word. Because he kissed me in front of his family. Yes. He kissed me in the lips then embraced me. His mom started to cry out of happiness, his sisters was as shocked as I was but managed to clap their hands. And his father and his nephews and nieces are cheering for what they saw.

Yes, it seemed like the movies. Only it was not. He left me with no choice. Everybody was eager and had fallen to the pit. Even I almost fell on that one, but then..