Nobody owns me

I am just Hana. Purely Hana. What did I do? Why did we end up doing these? We are eating alone. We are not talking. And he was coming home (our shared house) late for two days already.

Sorry for sounding like a wife. But I can’t take this. It’s true. We are most of the time doing things together. I think I got used to his calls when he is going out or coming home. But it has been days since we argued, and from that day on.. things has changed.

I miss him so much. It’s as if I cannot go on doing normal things in this house without him. Without being okay with him. It’s like I cannot breathe.

It is pass 3 am. He just came home from work and is now using the untouched key. He used the key to enter the house. It was the key that the original owner of the house gave each of us. He prefer to use the key after having the argument with me so that we won’t be having any contact. Because ever since we moved in, we got the hang of opening the door for each other. Waiting for each other to come home or leave the house together.

But it seems that I’ve been waiting for him in the living room. I didn’t notice the time and I had slept in the couch. He woke me up. Yes, for the first time after 5 days. We were able to talk again. Well not really talk but at least we had the physical contact back.

He was shaking me, but I was more sleepy than able to walk or talk. I was still groggy. I passed out again in his arms as he carried me in my room. He tucked me to bed. And utter some words I wasn’t able to decipher because of sleepiness.

The morning I woke up, I was shocked to see myself sleeping in my bed. I somehow knew that I had slept in the couch the night before because my sixth pillow was lying in the farthest side of the couch. Then I noticed that Arnold’s things are placed in the corner of the table, quite not arranged in his own typical manner of arranging his things.

As if in dejavu, I remembered the way he shook me and carried me towards my bed. I bet he’s still asleep. It’s a Sunday morning. His things are a bit in a mess. I get to see some of his work and I suddenly felt guilty for judging his coming home late. I guess these project keeps him over time and he was working with these difficult-to-understand-program for hours. Too bad, I thought his coming home late was because he was having a good time with friends or coming back to his old routine.

I gathered my courage to peep into his room. He was still asleep. Because of what he did to me last night, I decided to wave the white flags for him. At 6:15 am, I decided I’ll thank him by making him or making us some breakfast.

He woke up as soon as the food was cooked and prepared. I decided to talk him through it, apologized for being stubborn and narrow minded, and asked him if we can keep up with the lost time.

We started this through going to church together. We plan to give ourselves a full blast day-off of our busy schedule. We went home after going to the grocery together. We watched our favorite racing, wrestling sports. It was also a well day spent. It took us the entire rainy afternoon to relax and watch some TV series and DVDs.

Finally, I agreed to his proposal. I am going to risk whatever, just to make sure I won’t lose my new found BFF.