unlearning

I wanted to sound new, that’s why I am trying to restart everything. To unlearn what I used to believe was breaking me and keeping me from all the things I could ever imagine.

I wanted a new life out of all the things that was taken away from me. The fact that I still want and miss him, makes things more complicated because it just proves that I am still not over him. And I really feel bad about it.

Sometimes, it seems as though, I am running in circles, fooling myself each and every day of my life. Pretending that things are starting to look good, but deep down I know that as I reach this point the changes I thought was happening did not really exist.

I am still denying the truth. And I’m still not free because I still can’t accept the truth among the lies.

Whenever I try to go on, something just holds me back – making me feel as though I never moved. It’s like I’m paralyzed or that my ankles belong to a shackle of ball and chain.